Selbstdarstellungm, irgendwelche tipps?

Also, ich habe eine Selbstdastellung verfasst. Auf Englisch, weil die Organisation das verlangt! Könntet ihr mir ein paar Tipps geben wie ich das alles verbessern kann und was schlecht ist?

Dear host family,
in this letter I will try to describe myself a little and tell you about me, my family, my school, my hobby’s and my life here in Germany. First at all my name is Alexa and I will be 15 years old soon. I was born on the 22/11/1995 in Velbert and then I have been living in Heiligenhaus with my parents Jürgen Larisch and Birgit Bolz-Larisch. My dad works at the German Post as a …manager. My mom, who will be 48 soon, works as a …. I got a 18 years old brother, who goes on the same school like me. Moreover I have a dog, called Sandy.
Together we live in a pretty house with a huge garden in Heiligenhaus, which is a small town with 26000 inhabitants. It’s not really big, but it’s quiet and nice to live here.
But I also feel confident in a big city, because a few family members live there, so I’m used to stay there for a longer time.
My parents work all day long, so me and my brother are used to help them by doing housework.
My school in not very fast away, I just walk a few minuets. My lessons start at 8 o’clock and my school day mostly finishes at 1.20 o’clock, but two days in the week I have to stay longer in school, till three or four o’clock.
Actually, I am an diligent pupil, strengthening tend to German, English, History and Arts.
But since today we have holiday for six weeks (Unfortunately just six weeks! I know that your summer breaks are much longer!). Next year I am in the 5th year at my school.
Well, I am one of those people, who can’t describe themselves very well. I guess, I am a talkative, directly and spontaneous person. I know what I want and I like to read very much, including English works from the authors Nicholas Sparks and some other writers. Furthermore I like to listen to music, watch movies and TV shows or draw. I go to the weekly piano lesson for six years and I also carry out newspaper for three years to earn some money. Moreover I love to photograph. I guess, when I really come to America – and I hope so – I would photograph everything!

The wish to spend a longer time in another country was growing over many years. In particularly, I would like to gain some experience. I really spend a long time pondering about the right country – New Zealand, Australia, England, Canada or America? It is really important to me to make my English perfect. I also learn French in school, but I like English much more.
I’ve even made list of pros and cons to find out, which would be a good choice. Because of the long fly I didn’t choose New Zealand and I also didn’t prefer England, because it’s in Europe and I really want to choose a country, which is much more far away than countries in Europe. I’ve heard the Australian accent would be hard to understand and the weather in Canada wouldn’t be so great. I don’t really know if it’s true, but in the end I have chosen America, because of many reasons. I want to learn a lot about the culture and the people in the USA, find out more about the real way of living there and to reach a better level of speaking. And I believe, that the United States are the best choice to realize this.
There are really a lot of reason for making an exchange. At first, better language skills will be good in my career, an also I would love to take some real knowledge about traditions, countryside and people. Furthermore I see the exchange as a kind of challenge and chance, which I have to manage and to use. I want to make my own experience from which I could learn for my later life. Moreover I would like to see how I 'm gonna to manage this unusual situation and of course I am really interested in learning everything about the culture and the history of the USA.
And I know, that nothing going to be like I will plan it, but that’s just another reason to take the risk and make an exchange.

I hope you’ve get a little imagine about me and my life now!
Hope to see you soon.

Alexa

also im ersten satz würde ich first OF all sagen.
I HAVE a 18-year-old brother.

weiter unten hast du ein is vergessen. And I know, that nothing is going to be like …

I hope you have gOt a little…

joa das ist mir beim lesen aufgefallen. Aber so vom inhalt find ichs gut.
bei welcher orga bist du denn?

Nicholas Sparks? :smiley: hast du The last song gelesen?
ich liebe den film und das buch :slight_smile:

Ich hoff ich konnte dir wenigstens ein bisschen helfen.
liebe grüße

Hey, danke für die Antwort :slight_smile: Ich habe mich bei mehreren beworben! Und ja, unter anderem hab ich von ihm auch the last song gelesen. Ein wahnsinnig tolles Buch g