Meinung Gastfamilienbrief

Hallo ich will 2021 für ein halbes Jahr nach Kanada (New Brunswick). Ich habe gerade meinen Gastfamilienbrief geschrieben, aber ich bin nicht wirklich zufrieden. Es wäre schön, wenn ihr mir Rückmeldung geben könntet

Dear future host family,

first of all, I want to thank you for reading my letter and for giving me the chains to give you a little impression of me. Without host families like you, exchanges wouldn´t even be possible.

My name is -----, and I am a 15-year old girl from Germany. I live with my family in a little village with 360 inhabitants, in a house with a garden.
I live there with my parents, my little brother and our pets (a dog and fishes). My mom’s name ----- and my dad’s name is -----, they are both certified engineers. My Brother is called ----- he is ----- years old (-----years younger than me). Our dog’s name is Kimba she is a 5-year old beagle cocker spaniel girl. I like animals very much, I’ve also an aquarium with fishes, I like to watch them and do a little bit of aqua scaping.
I am currently visiting the 10th grade on a Gymnasium. My favourite subjects are chemistry and biology because I want to understand things in nature. I also like English and French. In school, I’m a school paramedic too. I have Spanish in the afternoons twice a week, which I volunteered as my third foreign language.
After school, I have flute lessons every Tuesday. I’m playing the cross flute since I was ten. It makes fun, but I think I am not the best. In summer I started to play tennis with a friend, we had lessons every Friday or Saturday. But now the outdoor season is over and the club doesn’t have indoor courts. In winter I want to go in a fitness club. I sometimes go to waiters at weekends. In the summer holidays, I was a volunteer supervisor in a tent camp for children between 7 and 13 years. In Canada I want to try typical Canadian sports like ice Hockey or Lacrosse.
In my free time, I like to bake it would be great to bake or cook together with you. Whats your favourite food, is it poutine? I heard it smells very good. You should know, that I eat very little meat; if we have meat I eat the side dishes. You don’t have to cook special things for me otherwise I eat everything. I also like crafts, like sewing and drawing. Otherwise, I spend my time taking photos. My favourite series is Grey’s anatomy (I also started to watch them in English). Almost every week I meet my friends, for example, to go out with our dogs, or to go to the cinema, or a climbing forest. Sometimes we do sleepovers and have a lot of fun. But to do things with my family, like go hiking, playing board games or helping at home, is also important for me. In your family, I will adapt and also take on household chores.

About Religion you should know that I am a Christian (not baptized). We don’t go to church very often, just on Christmas Eve and sometimes under the year. But I am very open to other faiths and I will treat you and your religion respectful and openly, I also would go with you to church or else.
I would say, I’m an open positive person. My friends and family say I’m optimistic, funny and sometimes a little bit crazy.

For my future, I have many ideas (but I don’t know exactly what I’m going to). After my graduation, I want to study something with science. I’m interested to go a semester abroad maybe study in English or French. I’m also thinking about getting a teacher because I like to help people and explain things.

I want to do a year abroad because I like to make new experiences and learn something about your culture. But why Canada? One reason is that I love nature and I’m spending a lot of time outside. And, as you know, I’m not sure what I do after school. In the Canadian High Schools, there are many possibilities to learn something about different jobs. I also think a year abroad will help me to know myself better and to be more confident because I maybe would have a different view of things. I also would go to Canada, because I don’t know a lot about the second-biggest county in the world. And I don’t want to see it from a view of a tourist I will Abel to make experiences as a part of a family, maybe your family?

Another big cause why I want to visit Canada is to improve my English (and maybe French). I’ve learned English since my 6th school year and I think I understand the content but I want to speak more fluently.

Thanks for reading my letter; I hope I could give you a first impression of myself and you got a good view of my personality. Next, I want to thank you for considering taking me to your family, because that isn’t a matter of course. And maybe we will get to know each other soon.

Greetings from Germany,

Hi Line,

sieht gut aus. Hier ein paar Verbesserungen:

1: give me the chance
2: fish (der Plural von Fische)
3: I also have an aquarium with fish
4: I’m currently in the 10th grade (Gymnasium weglassen, das müsstest du sonst noch genauer erklären)
5: It is fun (nicht: it makes fun!)
6: we have lessons every… (bleib beim Präsens im ganzen Brief)
7: Religion ist immer ein Thema, über das du so ausführlich erst nach einiger Zeit sprechen solltest. Ich würde das kürzen, der letzte Satz ist aber sehr gut!
8: becoming a teacher
9: I want to study a year abroad
10: I dont want to see it as a tourist but as part of a family (maybe your family musst du dringend weglassen, du hast die Familie doch schon? Das kommt nicht gut rüber)
11: big reason
12: I hope I could give you a first impression of myself and my everyday life in Germany.
13: isn’t a matter of course??? lass das weg, ist unhöflich.
14: I’m looking forward to get to know you soon (vielleicht addest du noch: maybe we can do a video chat if it works for you?)

Sehr guter Brief, ich war selbst ein Jahr in den USA und weiß wie schwierig es ist, das ohne Hilfe zu schreiben. Sei immer offen für Neues, unternehme viel mit deiner Hostfam und genieße dein Auslandsjahr!

Wenn du noch Fragen hast, schreib einfach!

Tim

Okay danke
Ich habe eh noch ein paar Sachen ergänzt