ICh brauche schnelle Hilfe mit meinem host family letter.. Bitte helft mir...

Dear host family,
I want to express my thanks for giving me the chance to introduce myself. I know that its not common to host a foreign student for such a long time. We don´t know each other yet and therefore it´s very important for me, to tell you everything about me. Since last year its a dream of mine to stay a year in the USA. I chose America, because my sister took part in a student exchange to Maryland and we hosted the American girl too. I liked talking about the USA with her.

So, now Ill tell you about my daily life. My name is XXX and Im a 15 years old German boy. When I come to the USA Ill be 16. I have short dark blond hair and Im about 5,74 feet (1,75 meter) tall. Even I love eating a lot and nearly everything Im slim. My family owns a house in XXX, which is a very small village with only 200 inhabitants. XXX is about 30 miles (50km) south of Hannover. My dad XXX(50), my mum XXX(49) and my older sister XXX(16) are very important for me. Like all sibs, my sister and I, we sometimes argue, but we quickly find a solution. I like harmony. Mostly we spend our holidays in the south of Europe, because we like the nicer weather and the seaside. My dad works as engineer for Bosch. My mum is a veterinary, but works very rare. She does the housekeeping and is always there for us. Most of my free-time I spend with my friends, playing soccer, watching movies and sports, listening to music and computer games. Twice a week I enjoy playing soccer in a team. Im looking forward to learn the typical american sports.

Describing myself I would say, that I´m a open-minded, communicative and uncomplicated boy.
It will be easy for me to make new friends. In the neighborhood I`m popular , especially by kits.
I attempt to be helpful and behave responsibly.

Currently Im visiting a private high school named Josephinum ( in Hildesheim), Im in grade 10.
My favorite subjects are math, sports and geography. I´ve been learning English for 5 years now, so I can talk, read and write the language, although there are few mistakes. My marks are not the best, because Im a bit lazy, but they are not bad. I hope, that this high school year abroad will be a big chance to learn very much about your country and also about myself. A very positive effect will be the improvement of my English. Coming back home a again, Ill go on visiting school for another 2 years.
It`s important for me that you handle me not like a guest, but like a real family member after we got to know each other.
I will do my best to make this year nice for both of us and I think that we can learn many thinks of each other.
I hope that this letter awoke your interest.
Best regards,

XXX

Ich bitte nochmal um schnelle hilfe…

ich muss diesen brief in spätestens 3 tagen wegschicken und weiß nicht ob er gut ist…

bitte bewertet ihn und macht ggf noch ein paar verbesserungsvorschläge.

bin um jede antwort mehr glücklicher!!

ich wuerde nicht reinschreiben dass du lazy bist. ansonsten ist der brief ok.