Brief an die Gastfamilie


#1

Hallo, ich habe jetzt endlich meinen Brief an die Gastfamilie fertig, halte ihn allerdings grade stylistisch nicht für besonders gelungen… könnte den vlt jemand korrigieren und Verbesserungsvoschläge machen? Das waren die Vorgaben der Orga.:

Write a personal letter to your prospective host family, at least 500 words long.

VERY IMPORTANT: This letter is the first message that your future host family receives from you. It helps them get to know you before you arrive. Remember, your host family opens the doors of their home to you and will treat you as a family member. They will share their daily life with you and will expect you to do the same, just as they would expect of a son or daughter.

Your letter is, and should sound like, a real letter, so please start it with "Dear Host Family."
Please introduce yourself and your family, explain why you wish to live with a foreign host family for a semester or academic year and what you look forward to while living with your host family; characterize yourself accurately and describe your personality; describe what is important to you; describe your interests, what you do in your spare time, activities you do in the community (e.g. at church, with youth clubs, in school teams), your lifestyle, favorite music, films, books, and any jobs you currently have; describe what you wish to accomplish and learn during the exchange; and outline what, as an exchange student, you can contribute to your host family.

Und das wär dann der Brief…

Dear Host Family,
first I want to thank you for reading my letter and giving me the chance of introducing myself.

My name is Florian XXXX and I am from Germany. I am 16 years old but will turn 17 this summer. I am living in XXX, a little town in North-Rhine-Westphalia in northern Germany. There, I visit the 10th grade of the Städtisches Gymnasium XXXX.
Now, I would like to do an exchange for one academic year to the United States of America. For this, I am searching a Family that would like to host me for this time.
I am looking forward to get to know “The American way of life" by the example of your family and community. I would like to get to know your everyday life, such as school, community or church. I am hoping to meet new people and build up friendships for life. I’m excited about comparing and contrast different cultures of the world, and so, I would like to begin with the American and German one.
I would describe myself as an open-minded and friendly personality and think that i could easily get used to a new environment and integrate into a new community. I am curious about new people and hope to meet many interesting new people.
I like meeting friends and spend my spare time for example with going to the movies, going swimming or riding my motorbike. Although I’m not playing any instrument I like hearing lots of different music like Rock, Reggae, Techno and Charts. I like many books and movies, especially fantasy, for example Harry Potter or The Lord of the rings, but also others like Fahrenheit 451.
I like going to school because I see all my friends there and I like learning new things. My favorite subjects are Social science, History and English because they are very interesting and I think things concerning human and there way of living with each other are more important then Math or Physics. I’m a clean and tidy person and my bedroom reflects that. Currently, I’m earning a little extra money by delivering papers at the weekend.
I also really do enjoy spending time with my family, like watching movies with them or playing chess with my dad. I have a little sister, Marie, which is 14 years old. Together, we often visit my grandma which doesn’t live far from us. My Mothers’ name is Christina. My Father’s name is Andreas and he likes reading or riding his motorbike, like me. I also have a cat and a lizard called Bart.
I think that as your exchange student, I could offer you a picture of Germany and its culture. Although I am not too good in cooking I think that I could make some traditional German food and bake German bread or I could show you German music or movies.
I hope this letter gave you an impression of me and my life and I hope I’ll hear from you soon.

Best regards from Germany,

Yours, Florian

Schonmal vielen Dank für eure Hilfe!


#2

Also für den Anfang finde ich es richtig in Ordnung! Auf mich wirkst du wie eine nette und sympathische Person, welche seine freude in zwischenmenschlichen Beziehungen sowie deren Geschichte findet.

Da du das in den ersten Absätzen ziemlich hervorhebst, ist es schade, dass du keinen Clubaktivitäten o.Ä. nach gehst, das würde alles natürlich noch positiver wirken lassen.

In der Vorgabe standen viele Punkte, worüber du schreiben konntest und du hast die meisten davon eingebaut. Allerdings fehlt dem Brief dadurch etwas die Würze, sein eigener Charakter. Schließlich soll er ja dich selbst repräsentieren.

Z.B. Könntest du deine Person etwas genauer beschreiben. Bist du eher der schüchterne Typ, ordnest du dich gerne anderen unter oder nimmst du auch mal die Führungsrolle in die Hand, bist du selbstbewusst, selbstständig, eher aktiv oder doch der ruhigere Typ, etc.

Außerdem fangen die meisten Sätzen/Absätze mit Pronomen an, deswegen sieht er auch eher einer Schulaufgabe ähnlich als einem Brief :slight_smile: Versuche einfach die Sätze etwas umzustellen, damit alles etwas “flüssiger” wirkt.

Beispiel:
[U]I[/U] think that as your exchange student, [U]I[/U] could offer you a picture of Germany and its culture.

Dadurch, dass du für die zwei Teile des Satzes einen ähnlichen Satzaufbau verwendet hast, wirkt es etwas komisch.
Außerdem zwei mal das selbe Pronomen :smiley:

-> As your exchange student, I think it’s my part to offer you a picture of Germany and its culture

Satz einfach umstellen, das erste Pronomen versteckt sich nach dem Komma und das zweite hat sich mal fix zu “my” verwandelt, jetzt wirkt es schon gleich viel freundlicher und nicht so Schulaufgaben mäßig.

[Das alles ist natürlich meine eigene Meinung und der nächste Leser kann es wieder total anders empfinden! Betrachte es als Vorschläge, was du noch ausbauen kannst, aber nicht als must-have-muss ich noch unbedingt reinstopfen]

Ansonsten finde ich ihn aber wirklich Top!

Mfg


#3

Hallo Florian,

ich finde deinen Brief nicht schlecht, habe aber an einigen Stellen ein paar Bedenken.

For this, I am searching a Family that would like to host me for this time.
Das ist offensichtlich. Das würde ich streichen, wenn du nicht genauer definieren willst, dass du am liebsten eine Familie hättest die deiner total ähnlich bzw. komplett verschieden ist. (Davon würde ich aber abraten, weil es das Placement behindert)

"I’m excited about comparing and contrast different cultures of the world, and so, I would like to begin with the American and German one."
Hm. Wenn ich das als Betreuer lese, verstehe ich natürlich sofort was du meinst. Trotzdem hätte manch einer vielleicht Bedenken, sich die ganze Zeit wie auf dem Prüfstand vorzukommen. Wie wäre es mit: “I am excited to explore different cultures and to share mine to find similarities and differences. Starting out with the America seems to be really interesting as the USA has a history of immigration and thus is a melting pot of cultures.”

Although I’m not playing any instrument I like hearing lots of different music like Rock, Reggae, Techno and Charts.

Argh. Bei diesem Satz habe ich ganz große Bauchschmerzen. Reggae und Techno sind in den USA nicht wirklich groß. Oft wird das auch stereotypisch mit Drogen und Trouble verbunden. Ich verstehe aber auch, dass du das natürlich nicht verschweigen willst. Deshalb wär mein Vorschlag, das etwas zu neutralisieren, z.B.: “Unfortunately, I never had the chance to learn how to play an instrument.* Still, I really enjoy listening to music, for example Rock, Reggae, Techno and Charts, which are the most popular music genres in Germany.” (*Das zeigt auch, dass du dazu bereit wärst, es in der High School zu tun?)

I like many books and movies, especially fantasy, for example Harry Potter or The Lord of the rings, but also others like Fahrenheit 451.
Argh. Noch mehr Bauchschmerzen. Viele religiöse Amerikaner haben ein großes Problem mit allem, was der Hexerei nur nahe kommt. Meiner besten Freundin wurde so mit 17 untersagt zum damals aktuellen HP ins Kino zu gehen.
Auf der anderen Seite kann das natürlich auch ein Eye-Catcher sein, wenn z.B. ein Gastvater denkt “Fahrenheit 451 ist mein Lieblingsfilm”. Ich würde auf jeden Fall noch ein paar ‘normalere’ Bücher (z.B. Krimis oder so) erwähnen, wenn du das so stehen lassen willst.

My favorite subjects are Social science, History and English because they are very interesting and I think things concerning human and there way of living with each other are more important then Math or Physics.

Hm. Das kann ja jeder sehen wie er will. Auch hier würde ich es etwas ‘freundlicher’ formulieren, schließlich kann ja deine zukünftige Gastmutti Bankerin sein und Mathe lieben. :wink: Wie wär’s mit:
My favorite subjects are Social science, History and English because I feel they are the most interesting as they concern the human beings and thus are the most helpful in everyday life.

I have a little sister, Marie, which is 14 years old. Together, we often visit my grandma which doesn’t live far from us.

:smiley: Deine Großmutter und deine Schwester betrachtest du hoffentlich nicht als Objekte?! :wink:
–> I have a little sister, Marie, who is 14 years old. We often spend time together visiting my grandma who doesn’t live far from us.

Yours, Florian

Lieber: Love, Florian. Du wünschst ja ein inniges Verhältnis! :slight_smile: Oder? :stuck_out_tongue:

Ich muss im übrigen Pantyraid ein wenig zustimmen. Bei mir fehlt noch der ‘Funke, der überspringt’. Ich denke mir bei diesem Brief in etwa: “Netter junger Mann, aber wo ist das Profil / die Tiefe? WAS ist es, dass er hat, das andere nicht haben? Was hebt ihn von der Masse an anderen Bewerbungen, die ich lese, ab?” An vielen Stellen betonst du förmlich, was du NICHT (so gut) kannst bzw, nicht so gern magst [Instrument spielen, Kochen, Backen, Mathe & Physik,…]. Viel schöner wäre es, wenn du das, was du kannst und machst, hervorhebst.
Hier ein Beispiel:

Currently, I’m earning a little extra money by delivering papers at the weekend.

–> Currently, I am trying to make a little extra money by delivering papers at the weekend to do my share to the family and contribute to the cost of the exchange.

Da hast du noch Platz nach oben hin! :wink:

Ich hoffe, das hat dir weitergeholfen!

Liebe Grüße,
Wiebke


#4

Hallo, wäre super nett wenn mal jemand drüber lesen könnte und mir vielleicht ein par Tipps gibt :slight_smile:
Danke im Vorraus!!!

Dear host family,
my name is xxx and im 16 years old. I live in Germany in a small village with my two parents and my younger sister (13 years old). My older sister (22) and my big brother (20) already moved out to go to University a few years ago. I have a really good relationship with my family, especially with my siblings. We spend a lot of time togehter, on vacations, on the weekend or on family celebrations with the extendet family. Im a very social guy, so when I´m not spending time with my family, I use to visit friends to do something together. Usually we go swimming, playing football or do something else outside and when the weather isn´t nice we`re also enyoing some indoor games, Netflix or videogames.

When Im not busy with meeting friends I love to do sport in my freetime. I have football training twice a week and games or tournaments on weekend. Also I´m a lifeguard, because I want to help people in dangerous situations and I can work as a pool attendent at public pools during vacation and on weekends. To unlearn nothing and practice rescue techniques we have training every week and exams every year. I also was 6 years in an acrobatic gymnastic club, where I had training three to four times per week and many successfull tournament on the weekends and after I desist from this I was two years in an athletics club and also played tennis for one year at school. Shortly after I stopped with all this, I started playing football, where I am not that succesfull, but its much more fun playing with all my friends together as a team and not solo against them. That´s different in my second passion: swimming. I started to swimm in a club when I was still in kindergarden and did this until 8th grade. That was when I became a lifeguard. I also love to play tabletennis, handball, tennis and volleyball, klimbing, nordic and alpine skiing, snowboarding, canoing, hiking, biking, fishing and much more. I´m really looking forward to try new things in the United States like American Football or whatever. So if you have any special or different hobbies I will gladly want to try these.

For my career I have very big plans, because I want to study medicine and hopefully become a doctor. That´s why I take school very seriously at all and its always my first priority to finish my homeworks and learn for the exams and tests. My favourite subjects in school are PE, biology, informatics and natural sciences. I grew up in our big property in a rural region but near a big city. Because of four kids and a big extendet family, we always had a full house, what I liked, because Im, as already said, a very social guy. Also we always had two turtles and at least two rabbits and also a cat, wich has come to us five years ago. So I know how to take care of pets and would be happy if you have any kinds of pets too.
Because of our big house and a garden there are many things to do every day like cleaning the house, washing the dishes, cutting the lawn, splitting wood for the heating during winter and many more. It´s usual for me to help my parents with this work or doing it independently.
People around often say I am very creative, helpful, empathic and ambitous or describe me as a humourous, polite, sociable and confident person. Honestly, I think this describes me quite well and I would add that I am absolutly in no way narcissistic, in case of it sounds like that for you.
My family, except my dad, is religous even if we don´t go to church every sunday, but I would have no problem with this.
During my exchange I hope to gain a lot of new experiences, find new friends and get to know your culture, everyday life and spend time with you. I´m really looking forward to be a part of your family, tell you about my culture and everyday life and wearing cowboyheads every day. Just kidding :slight_smile:
Thank you very much for reading my letter and I`m really looking forward to see you soon.
Kind regards
xxx.