Auch dieser informative Text wurde meiner Tochter zugesandt:
WELCOME TO THE UNITED
STATES
Are you ready for your Foreign Exchange experience?
…are you sure?
NOT AGAIN! I ALREADY GOT ALL OF THIS INFORMATION AT ORIENTATIONS IN MY COUNTRY!
Every year we hear students say this. Unfortunately, every year, many students come to the United States unprepared for their exchange experience. Read this carefully, and you will have a much better understanding of what is expected of you.
BUT IN MY COUNTRY WE….
STOP - You are not in your country, and you are not here to live the way you did in your country. You are here to experience the culture of the United States. Do not expect the same food, the same family structure, the same rules, the same social life, or much of anything else the same. It will be different, and it is up to YOU to adjust. Do not expect your new family to adjust to the way that you are accustomed to living.
BUT THEY ARE NOT REALLY MY FAMILY
Oh yes they are, in every sense of the word except biology. You are here to become part of the family. They are your new U.S. mother, father, brother, and sister, and you can expect to be treated that way. You should expect all the same rules that apply to other siblings of approximately the same age, to also apply to you. Many students come here and are surprised at how conservative we are here in the United States, and they sometime complain that they are being treated like a 13 year old again. That is not the case. It is simply a matter of our culture being more conservative and restrictive than the one you probably came from. Again, remember, you came here to experience our culture, and that is part of it.
SO IF MY FAMILY ISN’T PERFECT, I COULD ALWAYS LOOK FOR A DIFFERENCT ONE, RIGHT?
Your family will not be perfect in all ways. While we hope they will have many strengths, we know that we all have some weaknesses. Some of those weaknesses might be difficult for you to adjust to, but we do expect you to put forth an effort to adjust. You might look around and find families that you believe would be “better”, or look like they would be “more fun”. That does not mean that it is ok to pursue a move to that family. We will make every effort to make your original family work, and expect you to do the same. It would be extremely rude to a family that opened their home and hearts to you, to search for another family on your own. Unless there is very good cause, we will not allow this to happen. Remember, if you believe you have good cause to move, you should contact your coordinator, or Regional Director and talk to them.
WHEN I APPLIED FOR THIS PROGRAM, I WANTED A LARGE CITY.
Sorry, you are probably out of luck. Most Americans live in small cities, towns, and villages and many live in the country where the nearest neighbor can be ¼ mile away or more. In addition, people in low population areas seem more likely to want to host exchange students, that people in high population areas.
SOUNDS BORING!
Yes, it can be. If you are from a large city back home, this may be your biggest challenge. How bored you become, is directly related to the amount of effort you put into finding activities and finding friends. Remember, this is a cultural program, and you are here to experience our culture. In most cases this will be a small town or rural culture. Please do not ask us to move you because you are in a small town or because you are “bored”. It is your responsibility to make the most of the situation you are in. You may go home knowing you never want to live in a small town again, and that is alright. But while you are in that situation, work hard to get the most of it. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself or complaining about it. Here in the United States, we have a saying that goes, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. In other words, make the best of what you have and you are sure to have a good year.
WHERE DO I GO TO GET INVOLVED?
In the United States, most activities are organized within the schools. If you are interested in sports, journalism, chess, photography, or languages, you will find teams or clubs at your High School. Search them out. They are your best way to meet new friends. Remember, you have to work at making friends to be successful. And sometimes that is not all that easy. Most of the students in your school have been friends for many years, and breaking into their groups will be difficult. Another place to meet students your age could be your family’s church.
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT, I AM NOT VERY RELIGIOUS
Nobody is going to try to convert you, or make you religious while you are here. They may share their religious perspective or feelings with you but that is culturally common. They feel they have something good in their lives and want to share that with you, respectfully accept it for what it is. Participating in family activities however, is important for bonding and making your stay with your host family successful. For many families, going to church on Sunday’s is an important family activity. Church youth groups can be a prime resource in your attempt to find activities, and make new friends. Don’t rule them out because they have a religious association.
WHEN DO I TRAVEL? I WAS TOLD I WOULD TRAVEL WHILE I AM HERE
You might travel while you are here, or you might not. It depends on your family. Some families travel quite a bit, and others don’t travel at all. Many simply cannot afford to travel. This is not a travel program. We certainly hope that you get to see as much of the United States as possible, but we make no promises. Ask your coordinator about travel opportunities with Explore America. They offer several trips a year but keep in mind, that to go on the trips you must be in good standing with the program. This means good grades, all student surveys completed, good host family and school status, and not having been on a Letter of Warning or on Probation.
WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THE RULES? THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF RULES HERE
Yes, you are right. It can be argued that there are too many rules in the United States, and possibly even this program. Remember, by coming here, and by signing off on the program rules, you have agreed to abide by all of the rules, regardless of whether you think they are good or stupid. So don’t forget….
…The LEGAL smoking age is 18 (but this does not mean you can smoke if you are over 18)
…The LEGAL drinking age is 21
…You cannot drive
…You cannot hitchhike
…You cannot use drugs
Many communities have curfews that require you to be off the streets by a certain time in the evening. Your family of course, will have their own rules, and they may be different than your friend’s rules. This is all part of living with your family and living in the United States. Tough as it may be, you are expected to abide by all of these rules and laws. You will no doubt be seeing other American friends violating rules like underage drinking. That does not mean that you can do the same. Just being at a party where there is underage drinking or any drug use, can result in serious consequences for you, even if you are not drinking or using the drugs yourself. If you find yourself in that kind of a situation, it is necessary for you to leave. Most families would be very happy to come and get you, to get you out of that kind of situation.
Please do not refer to the rules, the laws, or other things you don’t understand as “stupid”. You know how you would feel if someone came to your country and referred to your culture, your laws, or your countries customs as “stupid”.
HOW MUCH CONTACT CAN I HAVE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY BACK HOME?
You need to limit your contact with friends and family back home. Obviously, your family loves you and wants to know how you are doing, and that everything is alright. Too much contact however, can retard your experience here, and increase your level of home sickness. The internet is a double edge sword. It is a fast, easy way to stay in contact with family and friends, but it also can have a very negative effect on your stay this year. Remember, you are here to meet new friends, to have new experiences, and to experience a new culture. General rules are 20 minutes per day for quick check of email and 1-2 hours on the weekends, and one phone call per week to your family back home. Daily contact, either by phone, email, or text messaging, is too much. Weekly contact can be considered excessive, depending on how well you are bonding with your host family, community and school.
If you have a problem, remember, you have new parents here, and that is who you should be discussing your problems with. You need to be focusing on your new family here, not your family and friends back home.
AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE TO WORK TOO HARD IN SCHOOL. AFTER ALL, THIS YEAR DOES NOT COUNT BACK HOME.
WRONG - You are expected to regularly attend school, and to do your best, even if it doesn’t count back home, and even if you have already graduated in your home country. Academics are a major element of this program, and you will be expected to do your best and keep a C average in every class. Don’t forget, you are not only representing yourself and your family, but you are representing your program and your country. Exchange students failing to take school seriously, results in frustration by school administrators, and diminishing support for foreign exchange, jeopardizing our ability to place students in the future. Failure to put forth a reasonable effort in school, has resulted in students being sent home early.
IN MY COUNTRY, WE HAVE MAIDS AND SERVANTS, HOW ABOUT HERE?
Sorry, very few homes in the United States have any kind of servants. In many homes, both parents work outside of the home just to pay the bills, and the home chores are done in what little free time there is.
YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT WHO DOES THEM?
That’s easy, EVERYBODY, and congratulations on now being included in that category of EVERYBODY. That means that you may be expected to help with the laundry, you may be expected to “watch the kids” occasionally, you may be asked to mow the lawn (cut the grass), or to do the dishes. We don’t want you to worry; you are not being brought here to be a family servant or nanny. You are however, coming here to become part of a family, and that will mean that you will be expected to do your share of the chores. If a chore is not assigned to you, be sure to ask often what you can do to help, or better yet, just start helping without being asked.
WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I NEED TO UNDERSTAND TO BE SUCCUSSFUL?
That is easy, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE. Like we said, you will not be getting the perfect family. Of course, they won’t be getting the perfect student either. We are all human beings, with strengths and weaknesses. If something is bothering you, ask your host family to sit down and talk, so you can discuss your concerns. Don’t yell, don’t complain, and don’t talk behind their back. Try to talk things through intelligently and calmly. Whatever you do, don’t let these concerns fester and get worse. If that does not work, ask your coordinator to get involved. In the United States we have a saying that goes, “out of tiny seeds grow mighty trees.” Please let your family help you with your problems while they are still small (tiny seeds). Don’t wait until they become mighty.
Once again, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES. If you follow the simple program outlined here and in your Student Handbook, you will have a great year, and an experience you will look back fondly on, for the rest of your life.
If you don’t, you are going to be asking yourself, “why did I come here?” Unfortunately, we may be asking the same question.
