Brief an host family - kann jemand Korrektur lesen?

Ich soll in den Brief mich und meine Motivation, ein Austauschjahr in Kanada (genauer Nova Scotia) zu machen kurz vorstellen. Mit dem Resultat wäre ich soweit zufrieden, hätte aber trotzdem gerne eine Rückmeldung, vor allem was Grammatik anbelangt. Wäre schön, wenn jemand die Zeit findet - Danke im Vorraus.

Dear (future) host family,

My name is xxx. Currently I am xxx years old. I live in the middle east of Germany, in a city called xxx. I write to you because I want to learn more about Nova Scotia, your culture, the nature and your day-to-day life. These are the basic facts about me, let‘s move on to some more interesting ones so you get to know me better.

My parents live separated so I have two homes: a house with a garden and an apartement where I share a bedroom with my brother. His name is xxx and he is four years younger than me. We get along pretty well, I know that I can trust him although we also fight (verbally of course) from time to time.

We also have pets. There are three rabbits which live in the garden of my father‘s house. They look really cute but most times it is impossible to pet them because they are shy and jump away. In the apartement of my mother is an aquarium. Inside are about ten neon tetras and twelve african dwarf frogs. The latter look like small frogs. It can be calming to watch them.

I go to a school which is fifteen minutes away from my home by bike. It is a school with a focus on the STEM courses. STEM stands for science, technology, engineering and mathematics. This means that we have more lessons per week in these courses than an ordinary school and we can choose one course out of mathematics, biology, physics, chemistry and computer science in which we acquire more in-depth knowledge. I chose computer science and am still happy with this decision. We learn the programming language Java and build some applications. I think it is fascinating to see what you are able to do just by writing words. The computer understands it and does what you told it to do but nothing more or less. Sometimes it gets frustrating because I cannot find the error I made but most times I have fun programming. In case you did not notice yet: Computer science is one of my favorite subjects. The other one is biology. I like biology because it shows how the nature around us works. In my class I have the role of the class representative.

My hobbies are dancing ballett and partner dance. Both combine body movement with music. I just do it because I have fun and not for competition. Both are once per week. I attend the partner dance with others of my class while in my ballett group are completly different people than in school.

In my free time I like to read or bake. My favorite recipe is cookies filled with hazelnut spread. I am definetly going to bake this when I come to Nova Scotia (unless you are allergic to hazelnuts ;)) beside some more traditional German pastries. I hope I can learn some recipes from you too. My favorite book genre is (contemporary) fantasy but I read most books if the story is fascinating. Selection by Kiera Cass is my absolute favorite book, I read it at least four times. It‘s a love story playing in a possible future country where the prince is hosting a competition to discover his future wife. The main character America is one of the participants but she also loves another boy in her home city. So there is a lot of drama going on, not only in America‘s heart but also around her with the other girls and rebels attacking the palace. What is your favorite book?

Another important fact is that I am a vegetarian. I do not have a problem if you are not though. In my family in Germany I am the only vegetarian and we are always able to find a way for me to get a good amount of food also without meat and fish. Sometimes this means I am eating the side dishes, sometimes we set aside a plate for me before adding the meat. The most complex thing is gelatin. It can be added in industrially manufactured gummy bears, pudding, some yoghurt and other foods. When baking you can substitude gelatin for agar-agar.

I choose Canada for doing an exchange because I am fascinated by the nature and vastness. Canada is the second largest country in the world but has not even half of the population of Germany! Then I decided I wanted to go to Nova Scotia. This was more a gut instinct. I read about this cute little island on the east of Canada where you are never far away from the ocean and felt some sort of connection. In Nova Scotia I could maybe see the Indian summer or the Niagara falls. Also the weather does not seem as extreme as in other parts of the country. These are my reasons to participate in this exchange programm.

Thank you for reading this letter and maybe we will get to know each other soon.

Love, xxx

Hallo Chouette,
ich habe Deinen Brief an die zukünftige Gastfamilie durchgelesen, finde ihn sehr gut und denke, daß Du alles Wissenwerte geschrieben hast. Es gibt allerdings zwei Anmerkungen zu machen:

a) auch wenn ich kein native-english-speaker bin, den Ausdruck „middle east of Germany“ habe ich noch nie gehört; wenn überhaupt müßte das „middle of East Germany“ (Mitte Ostdeutschland) heißen. Was hindert Dich daran, das Bundesland zu nennen?

b) Deine Bemerkung bezüglich Gelantine kann eventuell mißverstanden werden. Daß Gelantine in den von Dir genannten Produkten enthalten ist, ist zwar richtig, kann aber beim Leser Deines Briefes als „Besserwisserei“ ausgelegt werden. Ich würde das Thema Gelantine in dem Brief weglassen und es erst dann erwähnen, wenn Du mit Deinen Gasteltern backen solltest.

Übrigens Novia Scotia ist keine Insel sondern eine Halbinsel!


Danke, ich werde die Anmerkungen verarbeiten.
Zu a) darüber hatte ich noch gar nicht nachgedacht, aber wegen sowas habe ich den Brief ja hochgeladen.